Why Can't I Only Have Sex Dreams?

from 2017 Demo by Garden Hoe

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lyrics

I woke at 5 am again just like the day before, and before and before
And I dreamt that my teeth fell out of my head for the third night in a row
And I don't know what it meant, but it's probably for the best
Would I really really want to know
That I've grown too attached to some things and it's time that I learned to let them go

I'm running down a corridor and he's not far behind me
Before me there's a door, my saving grace, I am so sure
But there's one more waiting there for me
And I call out your name, but my voice cracks and breaks
I wake up, hand pointed at the door
Sitting up and I can't breathe
You tell me, "Babe, it's just a dream. That's it. Nothing more."

Tell me why can't I only dream of the taste of your skin on my lips
I miss the days when sleep was an escape
Because some days it seems that the monsters inside my head far surpass those that ever hid underneath my bed

Clenched fists pushing through cold water and I'm scared I won't survive
Embarrassment, I can still hear the laughter of the kids from the schoolyard
Searching for things I'll never find
Try to read the text but just see changing lines
Relived my whole work week last night, wake up to do it again
And I'm walking, I'm walking, and I'm walking
And I fall

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from 2017 Demo, released April 7, 2019

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